The Wall is Weakening

I have created a scene of normality around me however I do not know what it is to actually be normal. Eventually everything is going to shatter around me, my children will turn their backs, my finance will walk away and with him, our friends. I don't know how much longer I can keep it all together. I feel the walls beginning to crack. Small imperfections that go unnoticed by everyone around me... I can not only see them, but feel them as well.

It's like a cancer, a growth that spreads from inside me to everyone around me. Only I can see it growing within them. Only I notice the changes.

I'm sorry. I just don't know what it is to be normal...