Alone again, for the first time in a year

I stayed up too late last night. That's a big no no for me. I had a friend over. She's a new friend to me and I was having plenty of irrational thoughts. I am usually able to realize when I'm having irrational thoughts because of the Dialectical Behaviour Therapy group I have been attending 3 times a week. That being said, I still can't stop myself from believing them and worrying about them. All could think of was that I was boring her to tears and that she was never going to want to hang out with me again. At least not in a one on one situation. I couldn't fall asleep when I got to bed at 4am and was afraid to take my meds that help me sleep because I didn't want to be groggy all day today. The problem is that I can't fall asleep without my meds. It takes hours without them. I take Seroquel at night. It helps quiet the thoughts and worries that flood my head all of the time. It allowes me to stop thinking so much and fall asleep quickly.

Today I am feeling some anxiety for no reason at all. Other than that my emotions are pretty stable. The meds are starting to work I think. I take Wellbutrin during the day.

I was a single parent for most of my son's life. I met my boyfriend 5 yrs ago. My daughter was only 3yrs old so she has known him always as far as she is concerned. Since we moved in together a year ago, I have realized the relief of having another adult in the house to help out. I have lived with other men throughout my son's life but they were never helpful and really just made things worse. As this year has gone by, I have given up a lot of the duties I used to do on my own. I allowed my boyfriend to take over. I allowed him to take over everything. Slowly I have become co dependant. He left yesterday for a vacation that I just couldn't face going on. I am now alone again in this house with my two kids. I'm scared. I now have to do everything myself again and I'm not sure that I can do an effective job. I'm really going to try though. Wish me luck;) I'll keep you posted.